As individuals we are more and more connected to our family and friends. We can get news moments after an event occurs and be sharing it with friends, thousands of miles away, seconds later. We have hundreds of friends on Facebook and followers on Twitter, so why do people still feel lonely? When considering loneliness, it’s important to reflect on what makes you feel connected to others.
Think of a family member, friend, or partner who you had a strong connection with. What set that relationship apart from other relationships? In what ways did you foster the connection that you felt? How did you communicate with that person? Did you spend time together? Often connection comes from a feeling of being known and accepted. There is a trust that has been gained and with trust comes comfort with vulnerability, being seen and allowing yourself to be seen.
While social media has had immense power in reshaping how we connect with our world, it is also shaping the way that we connect with others. Social media offers anonymity or distance from sharing your raw, genuine, goofy, flawed, and human self. In this way, connecting with friends online may feel safer, you can put up whatever image of yourself you want, curate a perception of your life to share with the world and yet, you may feel more alone and unseen.
It takes courage to be in relationship and to share human connection. To share connection, you have to open yourself to others, you have to risk showing your beautiful and unique flaws, and you have to give up some control of what others think of you. Relationships takes practice and the less we practice being vulnerable together, the easier it is to fall into a rhythm of safe anonymity.
Post Mindfully
The next time you get ready to share something on social media, consider the ways you feel the post, message, or image brings you closer to the people in your life and in what ways it might push people further away from knowing your true self.
Additional Resources
Allison Graham’s TED talk on how social media makes us unsocial: